Sadness

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The past few months have been heavy on the sadness front. First the thing with Oscar Pistorius. I don’t care what happened. I don’t even care what the truth might be. All I know is that I feel deep, deep sorrow for the whole thing. Kinda like a diet-hungry hollowness just below my heart. I will never feel better about the situation, and I will never ‘get over it’. Because it was, to a degree, a loss of innocence. He really was one of my heroes.

But last night, when I was pecking away in Twitter, a Tweet stopped me right in my tracks. A friend had died. At 29. From a heart attack. That is wrong in a multitude of ways. I dreamed I hugged his mom last night, woke up early and upset.

Paulie was a drummer in a great band called ‘Southern Gypsey Queen’. I have known him since 1994. At one stage I taught him – or tried to – for a true drummer sitting at a desk is a bit like a wild thing caught in a cage. He would fidget and fuss and do it all with his charming smile and edible personality. I forgave him all and everything. Because he was Paulie.

Shit. I don’t know how those closer to him than I will cope. Because Paulie was a presence. A great, positive burst of energy.

I read the wall posts on his and his family’s Facebook walls as they came in. And inbetween the shock and sadness the one theme echoed – SUCH a nice guy. Sexy, hell yes!. Talented, infinitely. X-factor, in oodles. But everyone missed most of all the kindness, the love, the fact that he was down to earth and one of the friendliest people I know.

In January this year he posted: “Working hard on my solo project this week and beating my drums because next week SGQ starts our 2013 with a bang!!:)” and his last post was: “Recording my first solo single tomorrow!!! Can’t wait!!!:)”

Paulie to the end. ‘Sometimes the good die young.’  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfbZGDQQJt0

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